So Your Dad Is An Axe Murderer?

There he was. One of my best guy friends. He had just pulled up in my driveway in his beat up old pick up. Not an uncommon thing in a hick town. He was there to take me for a ride. Eli was fun and easy to talk to. I bounded out the door and we sat and talked by his truck.

My dad, unbeknownst to me, was behind our garage chopping wood. Now, my father dearest had strong feelings about Eli. He didn't approve. And my attempts to make him understand we were just friends, were futile. Eli didn't go to church. And I really think that's the main reason dad was worried. Worried that I would fall for a non-member.

Well, there we were enjoying each other's company when Eli's face fell. I turned. I wanted to die. There was my dad, stone faced with an axe over his shoulder. Walking with purpose. He reached us and said, "So, you want to take my daughter for a ride?" "Um....is that, um...OK?", said Eli. My dad stared at me, then Eli. "You don't drive crazy do you? Because I want her home in one piece." I couldn't speak. My face was bright red from utter embarrassment and anger. "No,no, I don't!" It came out in a voice of sheer panic. "Well, alright then." And my dad turned and walked away. Poor Eli. Poor me. "Your dad hates me!" said Eli. "Why did he have an axe?!" I had no answer.

We went for our drive. The silence was deafening. Eli was shaken and I was so upset my mouth refused to work. Upon my arrival home, my dad was sitting at the kitchen table. He wanted to talk. I wanted to scream! I looked at him and he was laughing! "I scared him pretty good, didn't I?!" Duh! It was all just a big joke to him. "Tell Eli I was just kidding," he said. I think I was really mature and gave my father the silent treatment for about a week.

I relayed the message to Eli but he didn't believe it. In fact, he never came back. And, thanks to my mother, my dad never did anything remotely close to that again. And I forgave him. Eventually.