The Worst

Two weeks ago, we were in St. George so John could run in the marathon. I was a little nervous for that day because I knew that the park, where the race ended, was going to be packed. I'm always a little anxious about making sure my kids stay by me when a place is so busy.

We arrived at the park and the boys took off for the playground. I saw then go to the slides. I set my stuff down by some trees and kept my eyes out for them. I would see Porter but Cameron wasn't with him. We had been there for probably three minutes and I couldn't find Cameron in the sea of children. I was sure I just missed seeing him so I walked around the playground. He wasn't there. Was he with Porter now? No. I walked and walked around and couldn't find him. I kept telling myself to stay calm. I went over by a smaller area they had for toddlers, thinking he wandered over there. Nope.

At this point a couple of people noticed I was upset and asked if they could help. I gave them Cameron's description and kept on looking. Fifteen minutes had gone by and no one had seen him. I finally let the tears come. I had lost my son. I was scared and of course all these horrible thoughts started to enter my mind. About ten more minutes passed and I finally found a police officer. I told him I couldn't find my son. He asked what his name was and when I told him he said, "He's fine. He's over by the information desk. A couple of ladies found him and brought him over." The information desk was at least a football field length away, maybe more. I wondered how far we had wandered before those ladies found him.

I don't remember the last time I was so happy to see his face. He was fine. He didn't seem the least bit upset. The first thing he said was, "Mom, your crying?" Oh, if he only knew how afraid I had been. I picked him up and carried him back to where our stuff was, despite him asking me to put him down. I didn't want to let go.

I really can't think of a worse feeling than thinking your child might have been taken. It rips your heart out. Those 20-25 minutes were some of the longest in my life. I've been trying to remember this experience lately, as the three year old in him is in full force. He's difficult right now, but I love that kid with all my heart.